In Sickness and In Health

Last night I just went down and a head/chest cold took over my body. I had been loosing my voice all day but after dinner my chest hurt, head hurt, throat was then on fire, and congestion had finally gotten to where I could blow my nose (before it was all in my sinuses behind my nose and I could not get it out). On our way home he stopped at his parents to get their humidifier for me - and oh my gosh that helped so much! So anyway....we got home and I just laid down on our couch. That is pretty normal but when I'm sick this also involves moaning and constant needs. Ben set up the humidifier and did whatever I asked of him with absolute love and care. Made me tea and wasn't frustrated when I then fell asleep. He simply waited until I woke up and offered me the tea. He made sure I had Kleenex right there, water, and tea. When I asked for my blanket he got it. When I asked for a cough drop he got it. I had everything I needed and felt so loved and taken care of! When I went to sleep for good last night I could hardly breathe and my head totally hurt but I knew I was loved and taken care of. It was one of the most safe feelings ever and I love my husband for being so so so good to me! I only hope that I can take care of him that well when he needs me. So - this post is for you my love!

Freedom

"In my distress I prayed to the LORD and the LORD answered me and set me free!" This is how I have been feeling lately. I feel like there are so many ways my life could turn out and I so badly want to live a life out of grace and love and freedom. I have witnessed lives that are lived for God but out of fear. I hate fear.

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love for perfect love casts out fear. Fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." I want to be made perfect in love! I know that I will never be perfect on this earth but I believe that I am righteous and that is enough for me.

I feel that my husband and I are living this life so well right now. We love each other, we talk, we fight, we reconcile, and we aim to see each other as Christ-in Laura and Christ-in Ben even when we are having our worst days. We are incredibly happy and feel so blessed with what God is doing in our lives and what he has provided for us. We definitely are not perfect - we are learning what it means to be a wife and a husband.

As I read my Bible more I am finding myself falling more in love with Jesus. I decided a few months ago that I need to set time for me and Jesus. That our relationship is not going to just "be deep and meaningful." I knew that I would need to put an effort into the relationship. Spending time with Jesus is deepening our relationship and therefore making mine and Ben's more full. I am just scared of who I can be without Jesus. I am afraid that I will try to control my life. I am afraid that I will hide myself from others instead of being real and truefaced. I still pray to Jesus and ask him to keep me humble and trusting him. But I still worry about what other people think of me. I hate that about myself but it is true and I think that if I acknowledge it in myself I can start letting God change me and take that fear away from me. I am done with it.

In my distress I prayed to the LORD and the LORD answered me and set me free.

Getting Ready for work

I am blessed to have a job that doesn't start until 9am at the earliest. I wake up around 7 so I have almost 2 hours - and a lot of times I push it and go in late so I have more time all to myself! (My husband has to be at work by 7 so he is up and gone before I wake up)

I usually start with a glass of OJ :) sometimes I make coffee but other times I just enjoy sweet orange juice. I usually see what is on the news...if it's a good story I'll watch it (NBC Today show is the typical). I am reading through the book of John in the Bible and am loving reading this in the stage of life I am at. A morning read helps set my day at a good pace.

I always like to delay getting ready for the day. Partly because it means I have to change out of my sweats and partly because it means that I have to leave my house. In the morning I want nothing more than to stay in sweats and take it easy. Right now I'm in the keep delaying the inevitable and watch the news part of my morning. A story about infertility and that maybe eastern medicine can help it.

I love my little living room and the cozy couch I get to snuggle on every morning as I read, watch the news, send emails....whatever it is I choose to do.

I'm looking at my schedule for the day - my work lives only in a schedule. It's not too busy, not too full. So hopefully I will come back and write about how it went or how my evening is going. I need to clean my floors while my husband gets his hair cut so I will be alone again. Ok...I kinda need to leave in 30 minutes and I'm not ready. :)

This is my morning, my second favorite part of my "everyday" day.